So, J moved out April 6th. I made it a full week. This is hard how do you stay in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with someone you've been with for years now that they don't live with you. He said he needed space. I can respect that but looking back I have my fears that is more like looking for other pussy. I hope I'm wrong. I am going to try and just be patient and give him his space. I just want to love him and hold him so much. When I see him walk this one walk I feel like I'm floating. He has given me that feeling for about 6 years now. I don't /won't push those feelings down. Most people think I'm crazy and I should tell him to fuck off but, you know what you don't give up on people you love. Especially after six years. I mean know one is that heartless they would sting someone along after all this time.

Well, on a more depressing note I know have to move. Yes, he moved out but, I could still pay the rent all by myself. Well, J didn't give the landlord rent or sign the new lease. The landlord is made and is making me leave. He's being nice about it. I have a couple of months. I didn't tell the Landlord about J moving out and I don't plan on it. I haven't told my parents yet. My dad and carol like him so much, I don't want them to start hating him. I am hoping this moving apart is a temporary thing. So, now what do I do. I have no money. I have two dogs and my boyfriend doesn't live with me and I have to move. My life is starting to get a little shitter each day.

On the plus side... okay let me think about the plus side and get back to you.